Wednesday, 9 April 2014

An Open Letter to Mrs. Beyoncé Knowles

 “There is unbelievable power in ownership, and women should own their sexuality.  There is a double standard when it comes to sexuality that still persists. Men are free and women are not. That is crazy. The old lessons of submissiveness and fragility made us victims. Women are so much more than that. You can be a businesswoman, a mother, an artist, and a feminist -- whatever you want to be -- and still be a sexual being. It’s not mutually exclusive.” – Beyoncé Knowles


Dear Mrs. Knowles,

I recently came across the above quote from your interview with “Out Magazine”. Although I can appreciate the sentiments expressed, I cannot say that I wholeheartedly agree with your statement. Yes, women should own their sexuality, but not in a way that allows a woman to pose with her breasts exposed in a magazine.

Sexual freedom does not allow me to engage in sexual acts with whoever I want whenever I want. Neither does it allow me to act unchastely whether in word, dress, or deed. Furthermore, sexual freedom does not give me the right to have control over my God-given fertility via unnatural means. Finally, it does not give me the ability to choose to end a life when the repercussions of this so-called “freedom” have surfaced.

When sexual freedom is described to me as such, I can’t help but think that the sexual revolution led all women a step backwards.  Instead of enjoying the benefits of the marital embrace, women are being duped into giving away part of themselves to men who could care less about them. Instead of being respected and cherished for their hearts and minds, they are being lusted after for their body and sexual prowess. Instead of openly accepting the gift of fertility, they are forcing chemicals down their throats and interrupting their natural cycles. Finally, instead of lovingly accepting new life, they “choose” to kill their offspring.

I’d like to know exactly how the above equates to freedom, when to me it sounds a whole lot more like slavery.  Slavery to a society that has tricked women into believing that this type of “feminism” is what we should be working hard to achieve. Women truly are better than that. We are better than the promiscuous, irresponsible, murderers that society is trying to make us become.

When I think of sexual freedom, I think of making love to my husband who truly loves and appreciates all of me. Engaging in the marital embrace with him does not degrade me, hurt me or leave me empty but rather brings us closer together as a couple. Sexual freedom also makes me think of my wedding vows, when I promised that I would honor my husband for the rest of my life. Those vows mean that the things I do, the things I say and the things I wear need to be respectful of our relationship. Finally, sexual freedom means truly accepting the gift of fertility that God has given me. There is nothing more liberating than handing over that aspect of my life to God and lovingly welcoming new life into our family.

Women need to wake up and realize what is going on. They need to stop allowing their true nature to be altered by societal ideals, and get back to who they truly are. I am a woman and I can proudly admit that I am submissive to my husband and that I am fragile. That does not mean I am not free. It means that I trust that my husband will make the best decisions for me because he loves me and that he will take care of me because he realizes just how fragile I am. There is nothing more liberating than knowing that I have someone who loves me so much that he will sacrifice himself to make sure I am well cared for.

To me what is truly crazy is that women would rather be objectified, degraded and used by random men than be submissive to their husband. I’m sorry but I’ll take the kind of love my husband gives me over feeling as though I “own my sexuality”. Especially considering the fact that my sexuality never really belonged to me; it belongs to my husband and to God.

And so Mrs. Knowles, I ask you to reconsider your statement for the sake of all the little girls out there (including my daughter and yours) who will one grow up into women. Because,  I’m not sure about you, but I’d rather have a submissive and fragile daughter that finds a man who loves her for who she is, rather than one who “owns her sexuality” and is used or lusted after by strange men.

Thank you for your time,



  1. Thanks for sharing this Justine. How unfortunate, to confuse the idea of accomplishment with promiscuity. I can strive for the former and reject the latter with no trouble at all!


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  2. To me the statement of «owning her sexuality» makes me think of it as being able to give it to who we choose and not have it taken from us or exploited against our will. Whether it be giving it to your spouse or choosing to keep it to yourself until you are ready to share it with someone. For some it may mean being allowed to express it however we choose but I personally feel that it has more to do with the history of women being pressure by society to please her husband and not being seen as having her own sexuality. I believe that a husband and wife should have the right to share in an equal and loving sexual relationship, where one is not being used as the others personal property so to speak, as it has been in the past.

    1. I agree that our sexuality should not be taken from us or exploited against our will. However, when a woman makes a statement about owing her sexuality and then poses topless on a magazine, it sends the wrong message. Is she truly owning her sexuality by putting herself in a situation where men other than her husband are lusting after her? Are any of us truly free from sexual exploitation when we no longer save our sexuality for our spouse. I've been on both sides of the fence. I've expressed my sexuality with men other than my husband and have been thoroughly disappointed by how little they cared about my needs. At the time I thought myself empowered and now I realize just how degraded I felt. In a loving marriage there is no pressure to please your spouse. It's an act that comes naturally. When I look at my husband I want to please him because I love him and when he looks at me he feels the same way. I've been criticized for admitting that I do belong to my husband, I am "his property" so to speak, but does he use me? No! The men before him used me, even if they claimed they loved me because the "marital embrace" was never meant to be shared outside of marriage. It's ludicrous for us to assume that women felt used by their husbands prior to the sexual revolution. Although some may have been in bad relationships, it is not right for us to conclude this was the norm. The Catholic church has always taught that both parties should enjoy the benefits of a sexual relationship within a marriage. Although most couples seldom speak of it because once married, sex become so sacred that neither party wishes anyone to intrude. But let me assure you, an equal loving sexual relationship is present when both husband and wife are aware that their sexuality does not belong to them (as was common in the past), and before women started declaring that "owned their sexuality".



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  12. Midred Jackson Says

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  14. I never knew people still have powers and make things happen this way. My name is Elena Alexandra, my Husband Alexandra left me for another girl for three months ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love , A friend of mine Stephanie told me she saw some testimonies of this great Dr. Luke Lele Spell Temple that he can bring back my lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, She consulted the great priest on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after three days my Husband called me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for everything he made me pass through. i still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable it just too real to be real. Thank you Dr. Luke Lele for bringing back my Husband and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for anyone who might need the help of this great priest you can contact the great Herbalist and a spell caster on

  15. Tracey Wilson Says

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  16. My Wife divorce me for no reason, Thanks to Dr Otis Darko for bringing back my wife,and brought me great joy to my family once again, My name is JAMES OREMEN. i live in Italy, I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through several pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the this GREAT SPELL CASTER WITH THIS EMAIL OR YOU CAN ALSO CALL HIM OR ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP USING THIS MOBILE NUMBER:+2348077526136 ,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr OTIS DARKO for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. { }, Thanks you Dr OTIS DARKO, i will always be testifying about your good work.

  17. I feel so joyful today because of the help Doctor Ogudugu has rendered to me getting my Husband back. I've been married for 6 years and it has been so terrible because my husband was cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce. But when i came across Doctor Ogudugu Email on the internet posted by a lady, i decided to get in touch with him and i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case for there is no problem without a solution. Here i am celebrating because my Husband is back home and am really enjoying my marriage and what a great celebration. I will keep on testifying on the internet because Doctor Ogudugu is truly a helper who God has sent to help us all. Why not contact Doctor Ogudugu now if you are facing any challenges in your relationship life. Email: ( ). Call or WhatsApp No: +2348139793075 for further inquiry and assistance.


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