“There is unbelievable power in ownership, and women should own their sexuality. There is a double standard when it comes to sexuality that still persists. Men are free and women are not. That is crazy. The old lessons of submissiveness and fragility made us victims. Women are so much more than that. You can be a businesswoman, a mother, an artist, and a feminist -- whatever you want to be -- and still be a sexual being. It’s not mutually exclusive.” – Beyoncé Knowles
Dear Mrs. Knowles,
I recently came across the above quote from your interview with “Out Magazine”. Although I can appreciate the sentiments expressed, I cannot say that I wholeheartedly agree with your statement. Yes, women should own their sexuality, but not in a way that allows a woman to pose with her breasts exposed in a magazine.
Sexual freedom does not allow me to engage in sexual acts with whoever I want whenever I want. Neither does it allow me to act unchastely whether in word, dress, or deed. Furthermore, sexual freedom does not give me the right to have control over my God-given fertility via unnatural means. Finally, it does not give me the ability to choose to end a life when the repercussions of this so-called “freedom” have surfaced.
When sexual freedom is described to me as such, I can’t help but think that the sexual revolution led all women a step backwards. Instead of enjoying the benefits of the marital embrace, women are being duped into giving away part of themselves to men who could care less about them. Instead of being respected and cherished for their hearts and minds, they are being lusted after for their body and sexual prowess. Instead of openly accepting the gift of fertility, they are forcing chemicals down their throats and interrupting their natural cycles. Finally, instead of lovingly accepting new life, they “choose” to kill their offspring.
I’d like to know exactly how the above equates to freedom, when to me it sounds a whole lot more like slavery. Slavery to a society that has tricked women into believing that this type of “feminism” is what we should be working hard to achieve. Women truly are better than that. We are better than the promiscuous, irresponsible, murderers that society is trying to make us become.
When I think of sexual freedom, I think of making love to my husband who truly loves and appreciates all of me. Engaging in the marital embrace with him does not degrade me, hurt me or leave me empty but rather brings us closer together as a couple. Sexual freedom also makes me think of my wedding vows, when I promised that I would honor my husband for the rest of my life. Those vows mean that the things I do, the things I say and the things I wear need to be respectful of our relationship. Finally, sexual freedom means truly accepting the gift of fertility that God has given me. There is nothing more liberating than handing over that aspect of my life to God and lovingly welcoming new life into our family.
Women need to wake up and realize what is going on. They need to stop allowing their true nature to be altered by societal ideals, and get back to who they truly are. I am a woman and I can proudly admit that I am submissive to my husband and that I am fragile. That does not mean I am not free. It means that I trust that my husband will make the best decisions for me because he loves me and that he will take care of me because he realizes just how fragile I am. There is nothing more liberating than knowing that I have someone who loves me so much that he will sacrifice himself to make sure I am well cared for.
To me what is truly crazy is that women would rather be objectified, degraded and used by random men than be submissive to their husband. I’m sorry but I’ll take the kind of love my husband gives me over feeling as though I “own my sexuality”. Especially considering the fact that my sexuality never really belonged to me; it belongs to my husband and to God.
And so Mrs. Knowles, I ask you to reconsider your statement for the sake of all the little girls out there (including my daughter and yours) who will one grow up into women. Because, I’m not sure about you, but I’d rather have a submissive and fragile daughter that finds a man who loves her for who she is, rather than one who “owns her sexuality” and is used or lusted after by strange men.
Thank you for your time,